Moving On

Words cannot describe how excited and happy I am about the election of Senator Barack Hussein Obama as President of The United States of America. Of course, many of my co-workers in my fairly conservative town labeled him a “socialist,” “Muslim,” et cetera, but my joy was only a bit dented when I spoke to my mother on the phone (she is in California at the moment) and my exuberence were met with the words, “I’m disgusted.”

I love my mother, and this is in no way an insult to her – but her stance against an Obama presidency was not rooted in his policies or running mates. In fact, over the course of the hour-conversation, she applauded his choice of running mate over the choice of McCain’s running mate. She expressed joy about his tax plan, his policies against the privitization of Social Security, and agreed to the fact that we need “something different” after the last eight years of Bush. She also agreed that she was no more scared of a terrorist attack with Obama as president than if McCain would have been elected – she agreed that any president will most likely be tested.

Her real fear was that we have just elected the Anti-Christ. Not kidding. She went on to tell me that he met “quite a bit” of the qualifications. Yes, I know and can even appreciate on a level that there are alot of weird things going on in this world – China will harvest the moon in 2012, both Nostradomus and the Mayans predicted the end of time in 2012, and we have a Pope that once wore a swastika in his youth. But trying to believe that Obama is the antichrist? I mean, seriously? Unfortunately, as I attempted to kindly advise my mother, this is not the conclusion of even more than five minutes of educated, intelligent research. This is the kind of ignorant propaganda that gets swivled around email, late-night radio conspiracy shows, and conservative, scare tactic-oriented Christians. These are the same people who believe that 9/11 was caused by gays; the same people who believe that someday California will fall off into the ocean.

I love my mother, and in that interest, let’s take this as a serious acqusation for a second – Obama is the antichrist.

Okay, let’s begin by examining what is said about the antichrist in the Book of Revelation:

….

Oh, that’s right, the Book of Revelation does not mention the word or phrase or idea of “antichrist.” What is however, mentioned, is several “beasts,” all described in animalistic form. The Bible does, however, feature the word “antichrist” in the first and second letters of John. I’m not going to type them out for you – go read your Bible and actually see for yourself what it says instead of relying on chain email from your “Christian” friends and relatives. What I will explain is that the four mentions of the antichrist in I and II John do not describe the characteristic of a particular person, but rather speaks in vague terms referring to a group of people – people who deny the existance or divinity of Christ. So basically, every Muslim, Jew, Athiest, Wiccan, Buddhist, etc is an “antichrist” if you want to get Biblical about it. Using a strictly Biblical (non-external) deffinition, movie producer David Geffen is an antichrist. Mohammed is an antichrist. Actor Ian McKellan is an antichrist. Secular Jew Albert Einstein is an antichrist. Former Israeli Prime Minister Arial Sharon is an antichrist. Trent Reznor, Marilyn Manson, Michael Eisner, Michael Ovitz, Jerry Seinfeld, President Abraham Lincoln (bisexual AND athiest!), Andrew Carnagie, Ernest Hemingway, Charles Darwin, Ayn Rand, Dave Matthews, Benjamin Franklin, Billy Joel, Gene Roddenberry, Helen Keller, Napolean Bonaparte, Adolf Hitler, Leo Tolstoy, and Frank Lloyd Wright are all antichrists.

Many emails have come and gone, and even my mother, stated variations to this line:

According to The Book of Revelations the anti-Christ is:

The anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal…. the prophecy says that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace, and when he is in power, will destroy everything. Is it OBAMA??

I STRONGLY URGE each one of you to repost this as many times as you can! Each opportunity that you have to send it to a friend or media outlet… do it!

If you think I am crazy… I’m sorry but I refuse to take a chance on the “unknown”

Well besides the fact that there is no “Revelations” in The Bible, it is “Revelation,” the simple fact is … nowhere in The Bible does it give such a laundry-list example of what the “antichrist” will be. A man? In his 40′s? Of Muslim descent? My claims here are not based on hyperbole. Before you feel the need to debate me on this, I first request you to look at your Bible and find this antichrist description ANYWHERE in it. You will not. Just as nowhere in the Bible is marriage defined as “one man, one woman,” just as nowhere in the Bible is sex before marriage prohibited, just as nowhere in the Bible does it say “spare the rod, spoil the child,” nowhere in the Bible does it say that the antichrist will be a man, in his 40′s, of Muslim descent.

Besides – before you go looking for this in the Bible – take note that the Bible was completed long before the creation of the Muslim people. So before you tell me that you’re afraid of the antichrist being Obama and use his Muslim descent in the argument … just realize that hey, it doesn’t say that. In fact, it’s IMPOSSIBLE for the Bible to claim that. In addition, what is the big deal if he IS Muslim? He’s not, but what if he was? Is that a problem? Last I checked we have freedom of religion, and it is okay to be President AND Muslim. Our ancestors escaped religious persecution in England … the ironic part now is that discussing religion in personal politics is HUGE taboo across the pond now. In that way, we have become what we fled to escape.

So where does this description of the antichrist being a “man, in his 40′s, of Muslim descent” come from? Well, the Book of Daniel doesn’t describe an antichrist, but it does describe someone who will promise “peace to Israel.” This was taken literal until Israel’s destruction. Then, it was taken figurative since there was no Israel. It was taken even more figurative once the Holocaust started, and ended, thinking the term “Israel” merely symbolized “the Jews.” Then it was taken extremely literal upon Israel’s resurgance. Now it’s taken half-and-half since no one is really sure what it means. While the Bible never states that the antichrist will be Muslim (Muslim didn’t exist, remember?) it does somewhat, kind of where a “lawless man” would come from (“lawless man” is not the same as “antichrist,” I don’t care what concordance you use).

See, the “lawless man” who brings peace, then destruction, to Israel (Israel, not the whole word mind you), would come from the “land of the North” and be a “king of the north.” The “north” that Daniel refers to is a region that SOME scholars have suggested is the same “north” that Jeremiah refers to … which is the Assyrian Empire, modern-day Turkey, Syria, Iraq, Iran, Israel, Palastine, Lebanon, Jordan, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt. Us Americans have come to mean this also as a “man from the east” (since this region is “east” to us, not “north”, yet another example of freedom of interrpretation), and since many of those countries (including Israel) have a huge Muslim population … well there you go. And what about the antichrist being a man? In his 40′s? Well since when is someone important not described as a man? And in his 40′s? That came from left field.

So how does this add up against Obama? Well my mom claimed, I quote, that “he wasn’t even born in this country, he’s not a real citizen.” I countered he was born in Hawaii. My mom said he was born in Kenya. Sorry. Barack was born August 4th, 1961, at the Kapi’olani Medical Center in Honolulu, Hawaii. He was born to a black man from Kenya, and a white woman born in Witchita, Kansas. He did visit Indonesia at one point before living in Los Angeles. Indonesia is a highly-Muslim country, and he was photographed wearing a turban. This does not make him Muslim. I spent some time in Israel after living in Los Angeles, and there are several photographs of me at holy sites in Jerusalem wearing a yarmulke. This does not make me a Jew. In my house I have a New Testament in English, Hebrew, and Greek, a Book of Mormon, a Catholic Bible, a Torah, A Book of Secrets (Wiccan), a Quaran, The Athiest Manifesto, The Secret, and several books representing over twenty religions and cults. This not make me a Christian, a Jew, a Mormon, a Catholic, a Jew, a Wiccan, a Muslim, an Athiest, a New-Ager, or a member of the Bahai World Faith. Reading Deepak Choprah does not make me a Buddhist any more than reading Robert H. Schuller makes me a Dutch Reformed Positive Thinker. It’d be wrong and irresponsible to apply such logic to Obama, or even your next door neighbor.

If you want to discuss someone who wasn’t born in this country – John McCain was born on a naval station. In the Panama Canal Zone.

Let me be clear here: If you don’t support Obama because you disagree with his policies, you don’t think he’s qualified to be President, you don’t support what he says in his speeches … I applaud you! You are disagreeing with a canidate for ACTUAL reasons … that is YOUR right as an American, and I fully support your decision and respect you for it. I am not one of those people who have to agree with you to respect you and converse intelligently with you. However, if you didn’t vote for Obama out of fear, because you believed he was a Muslim, the antichrist, or whatever, shame on you. You should not be allowed to have a voice. Instead of intelligent research, you have contributed to the fear and bigotry that has held back this nation. Are you prejudice against Muslims? Are you afraid of a possible Muslim? Do you watch attack ads from the opposition and put more stock in those and chain emails than you do thoughtful research? Are you racist? Intolerant? Those are questions that should be asked.

On a lighter note, let us round out the list of people who have been rumored to be the antichrist because they fit various “descriptions” to a tee:

Roman Emperor Nero

The Pope (almost every one)

Charlemenge

Franklin Roosevelt

Adolf Hitler

Joseph Stalin

John F. Kennedy

Henry Kissinger

Ronald Wilson Reagan (six letters in all three names!)

Yassir Arafat

William Jefferson Clinton

Sam Donaldson

Barney the Dinosaur

Bill Gates

Jacques Chriac

In short, if you’re an evil mastermind who murders thousands and thousands of people like Hitler and Nero, you’re the antichrist! If you’re a religious leader in charge of one of the largest religions in the world, you’re the antichrist! If you’re financially stabler than a medium-sized country and “self-made,” you’re the antichrist! If you’re a well-spoken, charismatic, well-liked world leader, you’re the antichrist!

And, finally, if Obama is the antichrist, if he REALLY IS the one who will conspire with the Chinese, the Mayans, Nostradomus, the Pope, Israel, and Waldo to usher in the end of times, then, well … there’s nothing what we could have done to stop this. If you believe in prophecy, you must also believe it must be fulfilled … and not act shocked and suprised and push against when it “is.” Hell, all you Christians should be happy for the ensuing rapture that is sure to happen the moment that Obama is sworn in!

If Obama is the antichrist, he was going to get to a position of power soon enough, with or without his help. In the great words of one of the world’s great black leaders, “What has happened, happened. It could not have happened any other way.”

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